Week 2 - Day 10

Felt a bit sorry for myself yesterday, so didn't post. More and more nerves on my tummy are repairing themselves and feeling is coming back bit by bit, which means it can be ticklish sometimes, painful other times. Yesterday was a painful day. So I didn't do my walk and was snoozing on and off on the sofa. Saturday daytime TV is definitely worse than weekday daytime TV.

Gave myself a kick in the bum today though, had a shower and went for a walk and now I am feeling so much better. Trouble is, the less I move and more bored I am the less I feel like moving, so it ends up in a vicious circle. I probably should start taking the iron tablets from hospital, but they are very strong, and the last thing I need at the moment is constipation. Just the thought of it makes my tummy muscles recoil in fear! I can feel my tummy muscles knitting themselves back together as well. They twitch on and off during the day, which is a very weird feeling!! Like being attached to a low level electrode!

OK, off for the day. Will potter about a bit and see what I can do, that doesn't involve lifting, bending, standing or stretching.....

Week 2 - Day 8

One more post

Day8.
I can see i am going to have a whine and whinge day. I am bored of watching TV. I cant lie on my side and lying on my back is giving me excruciating back pain. Sitting puts strain on my pelvic floor and my scar, standing with back pain is impossible. I cant stand seeing my front room anymore ( in my head, i have redecorated 4 times now).
I am still taking pain killers, not because of my tummy. My back is killing me!! I cant roll over to my side. It hurts too much, not tried lying on my tummy, too scared.
Have done some washing this morning. Naughty maybe, but i am going stir crazy. And it was better than making bath bombs...
Sigh....sorry...needed to let off steam. My friends dont understand, they think lying around doing nothing is bliss. I can say, the novelty has worn off and together with my extra energy i now have, its torture!!

Week 1

Sorry, for the lack of updates, but I only just managed to sit down on the PC. Sitting is still a bit uncomfortable, walking, standing and lying down is fine though.
Here are my updates from the first week:

Day 1. 
Day nurse just removed catheder and all the other pipes and cables. And i am sitting up, having breakfast! And my first coffee in ages. Standing and walking actually feels fine. Sitting is a bit painful.


Day 2. 
Just woken up. I didnt take codeine last night and i am surprised how little pain there is this morning. Mainly my bladder and some wind, but thats it. The scar is more uncomfortable than painful. Been up and went to the toilet. Coughing still hurts a lot, but the cough isnt shifting. Not getting better or worse. Looking forward to a lazy day.


Day3. 
Home-day!! Not too good this morning though. I woke up this morning lying on my side. My body must have finally over ruled my brain. Had my first deep sleep, but i was i agony when i woke up. The outside scar seems fine, but not sure if this has done any damage to the inside. I hope not. 
Also feeling is coming back to parts of my tummy that have been comfortably numb for a couple of days. Both together and i feel worse today than on day 1 and so not ready to go home. :-(

Actually i am better now. Wind got trapped by lying on my side. Lol. I panicked for nothing. But feeling is returning to my scar, so i feel it more. 

Head of department wants to see me before i go, so it will be a long wait. He is operating at the moment. I am going to meet the famous Dr Manyonda! Quite exited. 

Also, the bruising will be at its peak today, so i just have to grin and bear it. I am sure a number 2 is on its way...

 I am ok now and would rather go home. My daughter is there to help, friends and neighbours as well. Just need to figure out the stairs yet. Toilet is upstairs, fridge, kettle, tv and outside world is downstairs. Complicated.

Doctor just came to see me, all is well and normal. He thinks i should take more painkillers, but i am trying to avoid the codeine because its constipating. Will take one before i leave though. Speed bumps, yikes!

 I am home!!! I am home!! Doing a happy dance, at least in my head. Stairs are no problem. Managed them just fine, so i will be spending my days on the sofa watching tv, yay. I am glad to be home!!!

Day4. 
First day at home. Cat greeted me this morning by jumping on my belly while i was still in bed. OUCH! Thankfully he didnt stand on the scar, just the top of my belly. But something in there is seriously bruised. 
I am really tired today, not sleepy, just wanting to lie down a lot. So i am on the sofa, catching up on all the stuff thats taped on V+. 
My scar is itching like crazy. I know that means its healing, but....aaargh!!!
Had a very lazy day. Not good and something i was dreading after release from hospital. Didnt walk anywhere today, apart from the sofa to the kitchen/bathroom and back. A friend came round and after she left, i was tired and slept for ages. Now its dark and cold. Not sure if its worth going. 

I have noticed my mood taking a nose dive with the sleep and lack of walking. Not good, so will kick myself into gear tomorrow.


Day5. 
Had my first BM. Gosh that was scary! But it was easy in the end. just dont strain, even if it is tempting. 
Had more friends visiting, so didnt do a walk in the morning, but was a good girl and did my evening walk. 5 mins up the road and back. It caused a hot flush and i was dripping with sweat when i got back. Obviously my ovaries are still sulking. Nightsweats are getting better though, i guess they are bruised and just not 100% at the moment. 
Feeling is returning to my lower tummy and scar. It TICKLES!!!!! Aaargh!!! Pain is easy to control. I am still on the full dose of painkillers but might drop the late night one. I dont really need it while i sleep. Will give it a try tonight and see how it goes. I do need the first one in the morning though. Not for my tummy, for my back! Permanently sleeping on my back and unable to turn is killing it!! I wake up with excruciating lower back pain. I cant wait to be able to sleep on my side again.


Day6 
and i have been a good girl, 2 walks today. 20mins in the morning - where i promptly stepped into some dog poo - and 10 mins in the evening. My back is hurting a bit as it is straightening out now and the muscles are just not used to it anymore and also as my tummy muscles are also not there at the moment. Cant wait to be able to swim again. 
Tomorrow is staple removal day. I am happy, as they keep catching in my clothes and its making them sore. But also worried it will hurt. 
I have cut back on the painkillers. There is no point for the 11pm dose anymore, as i sleep fine. So down to 3 times 2 paracetamol and 1 ibuprufen. Going to see if i can cut out another lot of paracetamol tomorrow. I dont trust the stuff, especially as the fibroid had affected my liver. I am sure 1 ibuprufen is enough in the evening. 


Day7.
My staples came out today. Ouchie! It really hurt. It felt like she was cutting through my skin. Not all of them, but most of the scar is still numb, so couldnt say. Part of the scar hasnt fused yet, so the nurse put steri strips on. I asked her how i am going to have a shower, she was surprised i was showering already. "In my day there was no shower for 10 days". Sigh. She gave me a waterproof plaster over it. Exactly what the hospital didnt like. They said sweat is bad on the wound. But i dont really have a choice, if i dont want my scar to split.
The walk to the GP and back knocked me out. I fell asleep after. But i am in less pain now. The scar no longer feels sore either. I wonder if i was allergic to the staples, since they are out, the itching has stopped. And although i was very sore straight after, i am ok now, just very unsure how much i can or should move. It feels like a bit of a set back. I didnt want to do my evening walk either. :-(

Last day... 6 hrs to go

So, I have been and seen my friends, had a last minute shopping spree, cleaned the kitchen, packed the suitcase, drank the drink the hospital said I have to drink and now it is time to say good-bye and head off to bed, otherwise I wont wake up in the morning. I am hoping to be able to sleep, although I wouldn't bet on it.

I did have a Lavender Bath which helped to calm my nerves and I am just sipping a camomile tea, before I have to be nil-by-mouth in 30 mins time (actually, I am allowed water and was told to drink lots, so I am well hydrated). How on earth will I start the day without coffee??? Glad my ex is driving, I wouldn't trust myself in London traffic without my usual 2-3 cups of coffee in the morning. But no coffee????? And they expect me to arrive at the hospital in one piece, awake and somewhat concious??? They obviously don't know me....

Anyways, I decided to post some before pictures....it took quite a bit of courage to put these up, as I feel really ashamed of my belly, even though it is 90% fibroid (the rest of it is too much chocolate cheesecake). It is rather shocking. But when I sit here in pain in a couple of days and wonder why I put myself through this, it will serve as a reminder. This time next year I will fit back into my favourite party dress (and maybe I will be a millionaire as well.... :-) )

Nite nite folks - I will post the next update when I am back from hospital, Sunday or Monday

Last day... 27hrs to go

It is gone midnight, so I am officially on my last day of freedom now. I am dog tired, but can't sleep.

The countdown has now started. I am not 100% sure at what time my operation will be, but I have to be at the hospital at 7am and I am second on the list. This means, I will leave the house at 5:30am tomorrow. My daughter's dad is taking me, which I am glad about. At least I don't have to pretend to be chirpy. I can sit through the whole journey chew my nails and say nothing and he wont be offended. I don't think he will stay with me at the hospital, although I didn't ask. I am just glad I don't have to catch public transport again.

I feel like I should go to bed, but my mind is too full of stuff and I wont be able to sleep. I started sleeping on the couch again, as the TV is downstairs, but I don't want to get into that habit again. It's difficult to get out of. Once I get used to falling asleep to the TV, it takes me weeks to be able to fall asleep without it. The sofa gives me backache as well.

So, I am sitting here talking rubbish instead....

Cleaning Day

I am supposed to be cleaning the house today - but got up late as I couldn't sleep and now I really don't feel like it...another coffee then I get started.....

Can't sleep

I am really getting rather scared and can't sleep. Which leads me to surf the internet. If you would like to know, what a hysterectomy involves, here are some videos.

The clinical version, animated film

I didn't want to post any more links - the other videos made me feel a bit squeamish. If you feel like blood and gore, search YouTube for Hysterectomy.... urgh

It's getting real

Yesterday was my last day at work. It was rather weird, as the guy who will cover for me for the next 8 weeks was doing all of my work, so I was just left to twiddle my thumbs. But as I am also still harbouring a cold, I was sitting away from everyone else and felt rather out of place. It was certainly a very long 12-hour shift.

This cold is worrying me. I really don't want them to cancel my OP, but I am coughing quite a bit still. Throat is clear and nose is pretty much clear. Just the cough is lingering. And it's the one thing they don't like. After all, it's not so great if I cough up the breathing tubes, is it. Although I stopped coughing while sleeping, so maybe it is ok. On the other hand, they are going to cut through my tummy muscles (or what's left of them - exercise not something I do), so the last thing I want to do when coming round after the OP is coughing or sneezing, or laughing....sigh....how can I go a week without laughing??? I remember having my appendix out. It was at a German children's hospital and at that time, you had to stay in hospital for a week after the OP. We had a communal room and there were 5 of us in there. Some were close to release date and it was a game to tell funny jokes to make everyone laugh, especially the ones that just came back from the operating room. Even the nurses laughed. Although it was really painful, I do remember the time fondly. It was my first time in hospital and I was only 6 years old, but I am so glad about it, as I have never been scared of hospitals ever again. And at that age, the pain is soon forgotten and it just feels like a holiday.

Today I have to go back to the hospital to give some more blood. No idea why? The card has a marker on it for blood group matching. I gave 5 vials of blood last week. Couldn't they have gotten my blood group from there? It's not likely to change in a week? And it should be on my notes anyway, as it isn't that common. Me thinks, considering this is a hospital in South London, that maybe they are checking for drug use. Considering this last blood sample has to be given within 3 days of the OP. I can't really see any other reason for it. So off I will trot in a minute - decided to be lazy and drive there. No rush hour now, although may get into it on the way home, but have to do some last minute shopping anyway, so it's easier to just drive (ok...I am just lazy).

I hate the waiting time.... too much time to think and worry....

Anyways, if I ever want to get there, I better get my skates on. Off I trot to give more blood. I am really surprised how much blood a body can hold. I didn't think I have much spare at the moment...

This needs to be shifted!!

Had to call in sick at work yesterday (which is not good when I am going to be off for 8 weeks), but I woke up in the morning, feeling like a truck had run over me, several times. I am still coughing and I still feel a bit dizzy, but stocked up on Lemsip, lemons, honey and blackberries and I hope this is gone soon. Feeling much better today anyway and so I am back to work. I have to shift this cold, otherwise I have no chance to get my OP done. 6 days to go.....

Prodded and Poked

So, yesterday was my pre-op. I have been prodded and poked, been asked a zillion questions, left several vials of blood behind and even managed to pee on commando (a couple of cups of coffee helped).
The verdict was, that I am healthy as a horse and apart from the alien babies there is nothing wrong with me at all, which surprised me a bit, considering I am about 3 stones overweight, I smoke and exercise is a swear word to me.

The alien babies have grown again, just as I suspected, the smaller ones have had a growth spur and the nurse who did my pre-op did agree with me, that taking the whole lot out, including the womb, will be the best way forward. Especially as I am unlikely to have any more children and to keep a womb just to breed fibroids does seem a bit silly. Everything else stays in place, so I shouldn't be going into any changes yet. I have so many of the little blighters, that they wont be able to remove all of them in one go as that is too risky and I could bleed to death (this time for real) or the Uterus could collapse and would have to be removed anyway. Considering how fast my broids can grow, when they decide to, she thinks I would be back in a year for another Myectomy and I really don't want to go through that again. One shouldn't push their luck on the NHS!!

So, we are now heading for a hysterectomy instead of a myectomy. Not sure how I feel. If I pretend it didn't happen, it might make me feel better. The scar is the same anyway.

On the other hand, I was emptying the dryer today and pulled some of my old knickers out - you know the ones which are only worn during when TOM is around? And I realized, I can bin them all now!! This is the last time ever the painters are visiting me!! Ok, they have been giving it their all and we are now in week 9, so they have well overstayed my hospitality. It was such a joy throwing those old things in the bin today and realizing I can now buy pretty knickers and know, they will stay that way!! I think a big shopping trip is in order after Xmas - just in time for the January sales - YAY

Bad news though on the health front. I had been doing so well avoiding anyone with a cold, and there are loads of people who are having a really nasty cold at the moment. I started coughing last night and today I have a full blown cold. Coughing and spluttering. So I switched from coffee to tea with lemon juice and honey in it and bough some lemsip and Vaporub and hope that I can clear this cough in 8 days, as they will cancel my operation otherwise. I even managed to keep it to only 3 cigarettes today. Which will please the hospital, but made me rather grumpy. Blasted public transport!

No links today, I am a bit tired from the cold and I have to be up at 5am to start my last shift at work. 4 more days, so I may not be writing much until Sunday.

Gotta start somewhere...

so...I have had this blog set up ages ago, but just never got round to actually writing anything here. This is going to be a time-limited blog and will be all about me getting my alien babies evicted.

Alien Babies? Yes....some tumours (good natured, so nothing to panic about) have decided to grow in my womb and they not only make me look like I am pregnant - honestly, I am not THAT fat - but they are also causing all sorts of issues. So the doctor decided it's time they come out, which I am rather glad about, as I am really struggling to find clothes that fit now and I refuse to go to the maternity section. (Vanity will be my killer one day).

What are these things then? They are called Fibroids (or Myome, if you are following me from Germany) and are actually rather common, although not usually quite as large as mine. Fibroids are benign tumours that grow in and on the womb and they are the most common benign tumours found in females over the age of 35 (you didn't really believe me when I said I am 25 yet again at my last birthday?). In most women they cause no problems whatsoever and surprisingly don't even interfere with pregnancy in a lot of cases (in other cases even a small fibroid can be a problem, so don't let yourself get fobbed off by a doctor!). Although I would dread to become pregnant right now (or any other time, really), as I think my belly would just pop, there isn't any room left!!

Thankfully malignant fibroids are extremely uncommon, so I am not really worried. They are still the most common reason for a hysterectomy though, which is sad, as it isn't necessary - I am considering one at the moment, but more of that later. There are plenty of ways to treat, shrink and remove these aliens, the earlier you go and see someone, the better. Once they are as large as mine, options become limited. Funny enough, I thought the size of mine was what would eliminate me from keyhole surgery, but it isn't so. Even on the NHS one can find a specialist that does specialize in large fibroid removal via keyhole. But one of my aliens decided to lie right across 2 of the incision points and cannot be moved out of the way, so I have to get the whole horizontal cut. Thankfully I am now at an age where I shouldn't be wearing any items of clothing any more that would expose myself below the bikini line, so all is well.

I am starting this blog rather late, as I am going for my pre-op tomorrow and I am only 10 days away from my actual OP. On the other hand, I am quite lucky as most of my aliens are stalked and grow on the outside of the womb, so I don't have many symptoms and this would have been a very boring blog about life with fibroids, as it is just normal. OK, I do have some problems:

- the one on top pushes against my stomach and my lungs, causing heartburn and tight breath, no worse though than being pregnant.
- another one is very close to my kidney and if I lie on my back over night, which happens quite frequently, as lying on my tummy is way too uncomfortable, I get very bad water retention and wake up feeling like a water balloon. So I had to stop wearing rings.
- another one (it may be the same one) is very close to my liver and has possibly grown a root into my liver for blood supply. This one can be painful at times and it is also interfering with my liver function, giving me itchy hand and feet and also making me a very cheap date (3 bottles of Becks....pathetic!)

I do have some small ones inside and those ones have recently started playing up, inviting the painters round for weeks on end (8 weeks so far) and leaving me low in Iron, which in turn not only makes me feel dizzy, but also very tired. So it's time someone puts a stop to the endless partying these things seem to do in my womb and get rid of them. I was only going to go for a Myectomy, where they remove the aliens and leave the womb in place. Not that I want any more children, but it's just a psychological thing. It would make me feel rather, dunno...weird. But I have a feeling, now that the big ones have run out of room to grow, the little ones decided to make up the slack and give me problems more usually associated with fibroids, like heavy and lengthy periods, cramps, anaemia, PMT etc, etc. I hope I get to see the surgeon before my OP, so I can discuss with him, if it wouldn't make more sense to whip the lot out and get rid of all spare parts while he is at it (how much do kidneys sell for nowadays?). The recovery period is the same anyway, so I gain nothing by hanging on to something that will never, ever be used again. But it is a big decision. One moment I am feeling like "whip the lot out", next minute I am wanting to just get rid of my aliens and keep everything else where it belongs. 10 more days of pondering ahead of me...

Today I did the necessary shopping. I don't actually own any form of decent night wear and after my OP I will need some very comfortable knickers, that don't rub on my stitches. So, today I had the enviable task to buy flannel nighties and granny knickers. I lead such an exciting life!
Thanks to Primark, they aren't quite flannel nighties and I threw some PJs in as well for good measure and the nana-knickers were only £4 for 8, so I wont feel bad when I burn them in a couple of months! I did manage to snap up a very nice dressing gown at Asda a couple of weeks ago, so I am all set now. Argh...slippers....don't have those....I am really so not prepared for old age. Sigh...I see if I can get away with those thick socks with rubber dots on the bottom. I have some of those. In bright Pink.... But I refuse to drink tea!! Coffee only for me - hope the hospital doesn't rely on cheap instant either. They do have Costa stalls dotted around, so there is hope yet. Honestly, one day old age will hit me over the head and I will not know what to do. Dressing gowns, slippers, nighties, PJs....all very foreign to me. Do I have to buy a pipe before I turn 60? Or will a sufficient number of cats do?

After this rather depressing shopping trip, I did treat myself though. 5 new lipsticks, a fish pedicure and a free back massage with one of those oversized roger rabbit things (very nice actually). Made me feel much, much better. Fish Pedicure is a rather strange experience though. Tickles and they feel like they are humming against the skin. Bizarre, but not unpleasant.

Right, time for me to catch some sleep before I get poked and prodded tomorrow and I am sure they will take loads of blood, so I have to get up early enough to have breakfast as fainting on the London Tube is so not cool (decided to go there by cattle transport, as parking fees are shocking in SW London - £4/hr and they said it may take up to 4 hrs for me to be done)

here are some links, in case you want to find out more:

What are Fibroids, Wikipeda

I am in good hands here, I think

Who is the safest doctor, if you have fibroids